Written by Jeanette Tapley: Mama, host of the IT’S TIME FOR COFFEE podcast and friend to all.
Have you ever sat alone and just known in your bones no one would understand you or what you were going through?
That If someone knew the hurt or junk you carry they would leave you and you would be more alone than ever?
I am not proud, but I have believed this lie for a long time. I believed it along with other lies, like among other lies like:
“I am not good enough”
“It’s already been done.”
“What do you have to offer?”
I know God made me perfectly, just how He wanted me.
I know that He alone has gifted me with abilities and talents to serve Him and His kingdom.
But there’s this surface level I can function on where I tend to lose the battle against these lies and start to believe them, to sit with them in silence.
So I want to lean in friend I want to tell you something I have learned.
I cannot fight this battle on my own.
YOU cannot fight these battles on your own.
You see, I believe God is with me in this battle but I don’t believe any soldier goes into war with just a gun. A smart soldier goes in with an army behind them. I love that image of an army standing at the front lines. No man or woman is standing alone. They are standing side by side. THIS is how we need to be fighting the lies that I believe wholeheartedly are from the devil himself – with friends by our side.
SIDE BY SIDE. It means community. It means telling someone what’s going on, what lies you are listening to, and what they are doing to your heart and soul. It means turning on the lights. Saying the lies out loud.
If left alone with them, these lies can become truth to us. And friend we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS.
Right now you may be shaking your head and thinking,
“Yeah but how do I admit the lies I believe? Or how do tell my friends that I am struggling…no one wants to ask me HOW ARE YOU and hear TERRIBLE, I AM DROWNING IN THE LIES THE DEVIL IS FEEDING ME!!”
Let me ask you this…If you had a friend come to you and tell you that what would you do? MY HOPE is that you would look that beautiful girl in the face and tell her OH HECK NO! You would affirm her in all the ways God is shining through her. You would speak LIFE to and over her.
If your immediate response is not that then you need to as John Crist says, “Check your heart.”
There’s this Bible story in the Old Testament where the Israelites are fighting a battle and Moses is up on a mountain watching, and his arms are raised over the valley and he is praying for his people and as his arms get tired his arms lower and his people begin to lose. When his arms are up they are winning. Well his arms are HEAVY, tired, and I imagine it was next to impossible to keep his arms up so his two bros Aaron and Hurr come up alongside him and hold his arms up with him. Why? Because he was not alone and the victory was the Lord’s because MAN CAN NOT DO THIS ALONE!!
Y’all we have got to stop going to war alone because we are too embarrassed about the battle we’re caught in.
We have to be honest, open and willing to share. You only need one or two friends you know would gladly hold up your arms, and you would step in and do the same for them.
Do you have someone in mind? Or are you still thinking you are alone?
In the business world I really think this is where a lot of business women drop off the face of the world with the friendships and honesty.
We are told to hustle harder, do more, keep at it and find balance. I think we get busy and our time is valuable! Our families need us, our job needs us. But what do you need? You need a sister to stand by you and hold up your arms….maybe not all the time. But in community I see people taking turns.
If we try to force our way in this world alone…we are an easy target for our enemy. Together we are stronger.
When we are open with our struggles with people and friends around us we allow them to join in and stand in our battle. I need my friends. My friends fill me up, they encourage me, they rebuke me, they are the ones praying for me and the ones holding up my arms.
I do not believe I can be effective to or for the kingdom of God if I am trying to do ANYTHING alone. I am the host of a podcast called IT’S TIME FOR COFFEE where I get to talk to women about life, their stories, and help others feel a little less alone. I love connecting people… I love that God has called me into this world where I get to sit behind a microphone and be a friend to someone where all they have to do is put headphones on and have coffee with their friend Jeanette and her guest.
So here’s what I am going to challenge you to today…or this week!
**Pick up your phone and tell your friend what lies you are believing today. Friend, find freedom in SPEAKING OUT AGAINST THE LIES!
**If you can’t think of someone you would trust with this. PRAY ask God to give you a couple friends that you can do this with. And Pray expectantly, believing He will deliver. When it happens girl be brave! Ask this new person to coffee or wine. BE REAL.
**Be the kind of friend you need. I think this is REALLY important. If you need your arms held up…then you need to be that kind of friend. If you need a shoulder to cry on you need to be willing to do the same.
We can easily isolate ourselves because with all the many hats we wear get busy and that can be lonely.
But remember no soldier stands alone. Girl, you are a warrior, MORE THAN A CONQUEROR don’t forget that. God made you to battle.
If you are lonely I’d love to be your friend! Heck in my world…the more the merrier…Can I pray for you? Will you pray for me?